Our lives are not our own.

Follow our family's journey as we give up the "American Dream" to live and love in Uganda.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Do You Trust Me?

Parenting kids who have experienced trauma is hard.

They don't believe you. They have been hurt and disappointed. Abandoned and cast aside. We show up with all of our good intentions and many times disappoint them yet again. Their hearts are heavily guarded and rightly so. Fear of another loss can grip them so tightly they wont let in the good just to ensure they can keep out the bad.

I have looked my beautiful daughter in the eyes and seen her fear. I have instructed her and watched her defy me simply because she thinks she knows better.

It has made me furious.
I am an adult. I can see past the situation and know what is best.

It has broken my heart. I want to take care of her but she wont let me.

Looking at her, I have asked, do you trust me? I see that she wants too but is so scared. What if...The possibility of pain is what she knows.

I see me in her. I see how God, my father, looks at me and asks the very same question. Do you trust ME?

Can you close your eyes
to the circumstance
to the past
to the pain you have endured

and trust ME?

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Las Vegas, Nevada, United States